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Author Topic: Friend (Sort of) From Several Years Ago  (Read 143 times)
Dasil
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« on: February 11, 2010, 11:29:45 AM »

Hi everyone! I'm looking for a little advice and I'm hoping you can help me.

Ok, so I'm a sophomore in college, and I just found out a few weeks ago that a girl I knew from middle school is in one of my classes. Back in middle school, I really liked this girl, but I was too shy to say anything to her. She left at the end of seventh grade and we went to different high schools, so it's been a few years since I've seen her, but now that she's in one of my classes I'm starting to get some of those feelings back again, except that they are a lot stronger this time. I've never felt this way about a girl before; she's the first one that I've every seriously considered trying to start a relationship with. I can't stop thinking about her. Whenever I'm not busy doing something (and even sometimes when I am) she's always in my thoughts.

I don't really know much about her anymore, so what would be the best way to get to know her again?

Here is one idea that I've had:
Catch up with her at the end of class and ask if she has a minute to talk, and if she does, tell her how I felt back in middle school but that I was just too shy to tell her back then. After that, I would tell her that I would really like to get to know her again if she was open to it, but not if she has a boyfriend who would have a problem with it or if she just didn't want to for any reason.

That's really all I've come up with so far. I've held the door for her a couple of times, and we had a short conversation about old friends from middle school a few classes ago, but other than that any time I've wanted to talk to her I've been too nervous and just let the opportunity slip away. I also don't think I left the best impression either: my contacts were really dry which made it hard to keep my eyes open which made eye contact with her very difficult as I had to keep blinking and squinting. I'm also not really good at talking to girls.

So what would be the best thing to do in this situation? I'd really like to start a relationship with her, but I get really nervous around her and I also don't want to move too fast (or too slow) where I would make her uncomfortable or make me look stupid. Also, I'm not the best looking (I'm very athletic and play several sports and so I have a fairly well toned body, but my face is really nothing special), but she is really beautiful, which makes me even more nervous.

Would the above idea work for this, or should I try to come up with something else? If the above idea would work, what would be a good place to meet to get to know each other? Any other suggestions? We also only have class once a week, and every time I go home without talking to her I feel like I've lost possibly my only chance.

I'm completely new to all of this, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2010, 11:40:41 AM by Dasil » Logged
Heathers
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« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2010, 03:14:51 AM »

Hi everyone! I'm looking for a little advice and I'm hoping you can help me.

Ok, so I'm a sophomore in college, and I just found out a few weeks ago that a girl I knew from middle school is in one of my classes. Back in middle school, I really liked this girl, but I was too shy to say anything to her. She left at the end of seventh grade and we went to different high schools, so it's been a few years since I've seen her, but now that she's in one of my classes I'm starting to get some of those feelings back again, except that they are a lot stronger this time. I've never felt this way about a girl before; she's the first one that I've every seriously considered trying to start a relationship with. I can't stop thinking about her. Whenever I'm not busy doing something (and even sometimes when I am) she's always in my thoughts.

I don't really know much about her anymore, so what would be the best way to get to know her again?

Here is one idea that I've had:
Catch up with her at the end of class and ask if she has a minute to talk, and if she does, tell her how I felt back in middle school but that I was just too shy to tell her back then. After that, I would tell her that I would really like to get to know her again if she was open to it, but not if she has a boyfriend who would have a problem with it or if she just didn't want to for any reason.

That's really all I've come up with so far. I've held the door for her a couple of times, and we had a short conversation about old friends from middle school a few classes ago, but other than that any time I've wanted to talk to her I've been too nervous and just let the opportunity slip away. I also don't think I left the best impression either: my contacts were really dry which made it hard to keep my eyes open which made eye contact with her very difficult as I had to keep blinking and squinting. I'm also not really good at talking to girls.

So what would be the best thing to do in this situation? I'd really like to start a relationship with her, but I get really nervous around her and I also don't want to move too fast (or too slow) where I would make her uncomfortable or make me look stupid. Also, I'm not the best looking (I'm very athletic and play several sports and so I have a fairly well toned body, but my face is really nothing special), but she is really beautiful, which makes me even more nervous.

Would the above idea work for this, or should I try to come up with something else? If the above idea would work, what would be a good place to meet to get to know each other? Any other suggestions? We also only have class once a week, and every time I go home without talking to her I feel like I've lost possibly my only chance.

I'm completely new to all of this, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.


This is just my opinion.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you DO NOT just go up to this girl and unload your feelings about her.  If you like her like that keep it to yourself or you are going to come off creepy / stalkerish.  If you really like this girl, you need to find a way to interact with her more naturally and start from scratch.  Perhaps you can tell her how you felt in school later on if / when a relationship is built.

Trust me, if she would be interested in you it will happen, just ease into it in my opinion.
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Dasil
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« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2010, 08:58:33 AM »

Ok, what about just asking her for a chance to get to know her? We don't have much time after class to talk (we each have other classes we have to be at), so what do you think an appropriate place to meet would be, without seeming creepy or moving too fast?
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hellboy2599
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« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2010, 06:08:10 AM »

if you really like her...try to make frndship with her..then try to be her best frnd...then tell your feelings to her..
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