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It doesn't matter it all went to hell and he's not speaking to me anymore Which really really hurts.

I think the problem was with your mutual friend kissing you...
Maybe they have an history or something. The guy was really disturbed after you told him about the kiss...
Either way, he should have controlled his emotions...

Stay close and get her to see who you really are...
Don't push it, just let it go naturally, she already knows you want to take her out...

I think she will continue to say what you say until you ask her. She will not take the first step...
You need to ask her and then you know what's going on.

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Maybe you should take it as it is.  You a father she is the mother so you act that way for the kids.  I doesn't sound as being friends or dating is really on her agenda.